The Unlikely Relationship Advise for a Thriving Partnership

What does the 2^nd law of thermodynamics have to do with your life? The 2^nd law states, “For a spontaneous process, the entropy of the universe increases.” What is entropy? Entropy is a tendency to more disorder, chaos, and loss of energy. In plain words, it means that if left unchecked, things tend to get worse, including relationships.

Now here is the good news. Add a CATALYST. Do you remember in chemistry class? Add a catalyst to a reaction that would not have originally happened and BOOM the reaction occurs at an exponential rate. I kept hearing the word COMPASSION today. I believe compassion is the CATALYST that is the softer, more yin, and overlooked aspect that will heal, revive, and create a more deep, loving and trusting relationship.

We often approach our problems with force such as fighting it, so it goes away. When we don’t get our needs met, or our partners have done something that doesn’t feel quite OK, our subconscious feels threatened or unsafe. The default response in the nervous system is to shut down or fight. Closing our hearts, giving our partners the cold treatment, or getting in a “me versus you” mentality is not healthy and leads to more ENTROPY in a relationship.

Humans are wired to focus on problems as a protective mechanism. But what if your reality is really 20% problems and 80% wonderful things? How can you see the entire reality of your life and focus on the 80% of wonderful things, shifting away from the feeling that 80% of your life are problems? Let’s practice COMPASSION as the CATALYST for a re-start.

Instead of fixating on NEGATIVE things:

-He doesn’t do thing things he promised

-She keeps nagging me

-He blames me for unfair things

-She does not respect me

-He always gets angry

-She is too sensitive

This fixation gets you more of what you don’t want. What we focus on, we get.

Instead think compassionate positive thoughts and watch the reality inside of you shift. This provides the CATALYST or activation energy for your relationship to start thriving. Here are some examples:

-My partner actually did this because they cared about me

-While my partner could learn more of my love language, they did the best they could to show love to me the way they know how.

-My partner should not have reacted this way, but I choose to believe it is not personal, they were about bit stressed today. Let me show them some love so they feel better after a bad day. (Watch how this type of compassion can shift the dynamic.).

-Just like how I would like to recharge after hard work, I realize my partner would like some of that as well. I will give them the space they need and trust they will be able to be present for me in a better way later.

-I choose to remind myself that my partner loves me. The more we emphasize what we want and already have, the universe will give you more of that. The magic is gentleness, tenderness, love, forgiveness and compassion. Watch how much more initiative and good will your partner will have towards you as you both live as a team in togetherness, trust and love. To sum it up: “Do to others as you would like them to do unto you.” Mat 7:12

If you are needing help with your relationships, healing past wounds or traumas that interfere with your life and health, please reach out to me, and we can come up with a plan of how to help you move forward and let go of the past so you can thrive in the present.