What to do if you’re frustrated with the people you are "sheltered in place" with?

Let’s be real here. It’s been 3-4 weeks we’ve been sheltered in place. Many of us have not spent this much time with our family in a while and maybe they can be a bit much at times! Add to it, you may see your friends social media posts all happy, homeschooling their kids, doing some creative family fun thing, or saying some nice philosophical gratefulness post. That’s not the case for you, you’re struggling or your family is struggling…comparing with others just makes you more discouraged or angry.

What do you do if you’re frustrated with your family members and need to be at home with them all day?

Be Clear with what you want

-when you are feeling upset, ask yourself what is it that you actually want? For example if you are getting another demanding email from work after hours, your kid is asking you for food, and your significant other is watching TV, you may realize all of a sudden that you are frustrated at everybody. Check in with yourself, what do you need or want? Is it some alone time? Is it some help from your significant other? Is it people treating you with respect and honoring your boundaries? Is it needing some quality time with your partner?

How to effectively ask for what you want

When we are upset, it is easy for a conversation to turn into an argument. That’s not what you want right? There is a formula of talking I’ll share with you. This formula gets people on the same page as you rather than fight you. Before talking to them, remember to be clear on what you want. Choose one thing you want to discuss for starters, most people can handle one thing at a time. You will be much more successful to stick with the one thing rather than going off tangents (like all the zillion things they’ve done wrong). Remember to ask for what you want, not what you don’t want. Not “you never do anything around here”. Instead “Would you please load up the dishwasher. Thank you”.

Do not accuse them

It is human nature that when people feel like they did something wrong, or not good enough that they start to be on the defensive. Then instead of your partner working with you, they feel attacked and the conversation turns into an argument.

Here’s an example of how NOT to have a conversation:

“You’re so negative all the time. All I hear from you is complaining. You’re too worried about everything. And then you watch too much TV and are in such a bad mood it’s not fun to be around you anymore.”

Here’s how to approach this:

“I feel frustrated when you complain a lot. When we dated you made such cute jokes and I really liked that about you. Your jokes made me feel happy. Would you make some jokes more often here and help us lighten the mood?”

The Formula

1.     “I feel ____________ when you_______________”

2.     Complement them. Think of a time they did what you want, and reinforce how great that was and how good it made you feel (a positive feeling).

3.     Ask directly for what you want (not what you don’t want).

When you say “I feel______when you do_________” you are expressing your feelings. That cannot be denied. It’s your feelings. It is different than accusing them “You did_______it’s so________” which is not as well received.

When you complement someone, they feel good. They feel they did something right. Most people will be happy they are able to please you and want to do it more. They feel successful and are much more willing to accommodate you. When you accuse them, self-preservation kicks in, defensiveness kicks in, and an argument often starts. So remind them of a time they did what you wanted and compliment them. I understand if they haven’t in a long time, this may be very difficult to say and may be a jab to your ego to complement them. Do your best, it will give you a much better outcome.

Then ask for what you want. Ask for one thing at a time is usually most helpful. Save another thing for a different conversation. Make it short and sweet.

Have Compassion

During these unprecedented times our usual stability in our world is shifted. Most humans thrive on what is safe. So many of us may not feel safe now. The unknown scares most people. Your deep-down fears may be brought up now. Your family members subconscious issues may also be brought up, but theirs can be different than yours. See if you can have compassion for where they are coming from, love them and at the same time get your needs met.

It’s natural and you’re not alone to perhaps feel more anger, fear, or other emotions during this time. It may be a gift that these emotions have come up for you to process and release certain patterns that don’t serve you. During this time especially, you may be picking up on other people’s emotions (there’s global emotional instability), so it’s likely some emotions you are feeling may not even be yours. If you need some help please reach out. I’ve been doing emotional balance sessions with patients and they have felt much more themselves again, and like a weight lifted off.

Blessings and love to you. Be safe and healthy.

The Root Cause of Physical Pain

I was at a meditation retreat this weekend and was reminded again of how the body is programed to work, if we give it the chance to. So many people live with pain. All pain has something in common, whether it is a headache, back pain, neck pain, abdominal pain, PMS/pelvic cramps, interstitial cystitis, nerve pain etc. If your pain is severe, it can be debilitating. But many people live in tolerable pain, and just go on with life. They may have forgotten how it feels to feel good. Let me remind you to dream high in regards to your health and Photo Credit Esther Max allow yourself to live pain free.

Pain is actually a signal, a sensory alert that something is wrong in your life. If you touch a burning stove, it hurts. The pain tells you to quickly pull your hand away, so you don’t keep hurting yourself. If there was no pain, and you left your hand there, your skin would be burned away.

With chronic pain conditions be it a headache, backache or abdominal pain, the pain is also a signal that something is wrong in your life. What happens physiologically is that our nervous system communicates with our body when we encounter life situations. Have you ever felt nervous and your stomach tightened up? The situation that created the nervousness created a sensation in your body (for example a tight stomach). This tight stomach sensation is generally interpreted as a negative sensation and we often don’t like it. But the more we don’t like it, and stress about feeling sick to our stomach, the worse it gets. Why? Because the more we dislike something, the more chemicals our bodies release (stress chemicals), that make create more of these sensations such as pain or tension etc.

Actually it does not matter what the sensation is. Whether it is pain, tension, itching, an energetically blocked off area, cold or hot, it’s just the body’s somatic feedback, giving you a sensation in reaction to what is going on in the world around you. What’s going around may be bad diet, physical trauma or lack of sleep that gives rise to these sensations such as pain. But more often it is the adding up of our emotional reactions to our world on a very constant level that builds up and builds up that is the root cause of physical pain. We are often unaware of how unacceptable to our body these life situations are until our bodies are screaming in physical pain.

Sometimes there are patterns of where the “stress” is stored in the body. I’ve seen unhealed sexual trauma, tumultuous relationships, loneliness, or self judgement often show up as reproductive pain, or reproductive conditions. I’ve seen stress, especially financial stress show up as lower back pain. I’ve seen people with difficulties saying no, difficulties communicating, or feeling trapped in their circumstances experience frequent sore throats. We are often unaware that something is not OK. In our culture we may feel something is wrong intuitively but it slips away so quickly as we then continue to go about our day. But our body does not forget and then pain builds up to alert us to change our life.

So how do you get out of pain? We need to reverse the process. We need to allow the body itself to let go of the added up “stuff” that is stored in a particular part of the body that resulted in pain. It is like a detox. I am so excited about this, because it is so easy. But yet it takes some effort, or may seem “stupid” that many people are not willing to give it a chance. See our culture wants to pop pills, whether it’s medication or natural. But that only skims the surface. If you really want to get out of pain, would you do what it takes even if it is not the method you are programed to believe to be the solution? Most solutions are simpler than we make them to be. I really want to share this with you because for the patients who are willing, I have seen patients who feel like they have tried everything for months or years heal. Patients who are trapped at home with bladder pain from interstitial cystitis, patients with frequent debilitating migraines can all be pain free no matter how long they’ve suffered from these conditions.

To start the process of reversing pain one must realize that pain is a sensation, that is no different in a profound sense to a pleasant sensation. Both of these sensations change. Everything in our world changes, nothing is permanent. If you feel energetic, you may later feel tired. If you feel pain, it will go away. If you have an itch, it goes away. Nothing is permanent. The first step is to observe it. Do not judge it as good or bad. When you judge, you create emotions that secrete chemicals that are inflammatory and create more pain. When you start to observe the parts of your body, your body is alerted, awareness is brought to the area. The body has wisdom. It will start to release the stored up “stuff” automatically, and you have started the process of reversing pain. There are techniques you can learn and various healing modalities you can receive that make the healing process faster. To gauge if a technique of healing is good and can get to the root of releasing pain make sure the sensations of the body are addressed. We need to get back to the physical body, the somatic programming and unprogramming to work. If you are ready to let go of your physical pain and let go of some aspect of your life that is unsatisfactory, I would be honored to assist you in the process.

How to keep your Immune System Strong

“All information contained here is for educational purposes and is not intended to diagnose, prevent or treat any disease or illness.”

I wanted to share some tips for keeping your immune system strong. Check here for prevention guidelines for the current situation from the World Health organization. 

Some influenza viruses possess glycoproteins on it’s surface Hemagglutinin A (HA) and neuraminidase (NA). HA and NA are necessary for the virus to replicate. It appears that Coronaviruses utilizes Hemagglutinin A (HA) only. One of the strategies to inhibit viral replication is to reduce HA and NA activity, because that slows the virus ability to multiply inside your body. Interferon also inhibits viral replication and you will find out in this article what natural foods contain interferon. Lastly some of the more dangerous outcomes people have when they contract these viruses are due to the body’s uncontrollable inflammatory response to the viruses via inflammatory cytokine release. Very high fevers, swelling of the mucous membranes, copious amounts of mucous, muscle aches and pains are symptoms of the body’s inflammatory response to the virus. So calming down the inflammatory cytokine response may reduce how “sick” someone feels. Where a proper immune response to the virus is important to kill it, an excessive inflammatory response can increase complications. Below are some natural remedies that support the immune system. 

1.     Chinese Herbs: A traditional Chinese herbal formula called Yu Ping Feng, or Jade Windscreen contains herbs that increase your Wei Qi. What’s Wei Qi? It is an energetic defense system everyone’s body has against pathogens and allergens. This herbal formula strengths your “force field” so that it is harder for germs to penetrate and infect you. This formula also strengthens your lungs and spleen which are important systems needed to regulate your immunity. In China, people take this formula preventatively during cold and flu season. Get Jade Windcreen here.

2.     Andrographis: Is an Asian and Ayurvedic herb that has a bitter taste. It contains anti-inflammatory components (inhibits inflammatory cytokines) and immune enhancing properties. Andrographis inhibits Hemagglutinin A (HA) and therefore viral replication. Some previous studies have shown Andrographis to have an inhibitory effect against the Avian Flu and H1N1. Get immune support formula Andrographis Plus here.

3.     Chicken Broth/Turkey Broth: Chicken and Turkey broth contain interferon which inhibits viral replication. According to the March 2005 issue in the Journal of virology, Influenza A actually inhibits interferon, so this is the flu’s tricky way of stopping your immune system from stopping the flu. Add some broth to your diet to increase interferon to block viral replication. Everyone is exposed to germs, they are all over the place. Whether or not you get sick depends on if your body is a good breeding ground for the germs (another article). Whether or not you will get sick depends if the viruses infect your cells, and then use your cells to replicate to a number beyond what your immune system can eradicate. When that happens you will start feeling sick. This is why these strategies increase your odds for a strong immune system defending against pathogens.

4.     Decrease Stress and Negative Thoughts: Have you gotten sick after a huge project was done, after finals, after a breakup, or during prolonged periods of stress? Stress can be physical or emotional. Negative thoughts and worry cause your body to produce the same stress hormones that physical stress does. The stress hormone cortisol suppresses the immune system. It can lower your lymphocytes, which are a type of germ fighting white blood cells. If you are feeling stressed, take some time for selfcare. One strategy is to catch the silent thoughts swirling in your brain, flip a negative statement into a positive one. If you’re needing a little more support to re-set and get out of feeling overwhelmed, unhealthy and not yourself, feel free to contact me for a distance energetic healing session where we can reset your nervous system and support your immune system.

What health functions does the Basic Chakra Control?

Wishing you health, abundance, peace, and a thriving life this new year. If you feel like you can’t have all of these, or not sure how you can, let’s change that this new year. You see, good health is not just being physically healthy it also includes your emotional and spiritual health.

 There are generally three large categories of life:

1. Health
2. Money
3. Relationships

If you can improve one of these usually the others also start to improve. I believe that the first aspect to improve on is health. Once you have health it is much more efficient to make more money and a lot less effort to improve relationships. My patients who are willing to invest in both their physical Health and energetic health improve exponentially quicker than those who only focus on the physical. How would you like to get out of survival mode this new year and thrive in all 3 aspects of your life?

There's a technique I use with patients that can help release negative energetic frequencies. This literally "unstucks" blocks to healing. It's called pranic healing and can be done over the phone. If your body has been very depleted this technique adds energy to your body so it can heal faster (like recharging your batteries for you). Patients with long term traumas, anxiety, depression, migraines, hypertension, infections, frequent illness, and physical pain have had an incredible success what Pranic Healing. Why?

What does immune imbalance, feeling like you don’t have enough, low sex drive, and pain have to do with each other? They are all controlled by a center in your body called the basic chakra. Today I'll share with you some information about the basic/root/or first chakra. If you have not heard about what a chakra is before, a chakra is an area of concentrated energy that corresponds to particular aspects and part of your physical body. If you like science, you can measure the size and electromagnetic frequency of a chakra through Kirlian photography.

The basic chakra is located near your tail bone and base of the spine. It controls and maintains the health of the following body systems:

1. The muscular and skeletal systems. If the basic chakra is out of balance, muscular tension, joint pain can occur.

2. Immune System. Since the basic chakra controls the skeletal system, the bone marrow controls the immune cells in the blood made by the bone marrow. The throat chakra also controls the immune system and is responsible for the lymphatic system. Allergies, auto-immune diseases, infections, and frequent illness are associated with basic chakra imbalance.

3. The spine. Weak basic chakra may increase tendencies osteoporosis, spinal compression or curvature etc.

4. Blood. The bone marrow makes blood. The basic chakra out of balance may worsen anemia, leukemias, cancer etc.

4 The adrenal glands. If the energy in the basic chakra is low, an individual will feel fatigued, low motivation, or even depressed. Patients with suicidal tendencies have extremely low energy in the basic chakra, they have a very low will to survive. If overactive, a patient may feel anxiety, insomnia, in survival mode, and in fight and flight response. Feelings of lack can be shifted by improving the health of the basic chakra.

5. Growth rate of cells and healing. Slow healing wounds, slow healing broken bones, growth problems, cancer, and slow healing from illnesses may be contributed by imbalance in the basic chakra.

6 The heart. Imbalance here can contribute to heart ailments.

7 Reproductive Organs. Low sex drive, pelvic infections, HPV, fertility issues, and miscarriage may benefit by balancing the basic chakra.

With any medical issue it is important to seek the attention of a qualified medical practitioner. In addition to what your doctor recommends, natural therapies such as supplements, herbs, homeopathics, foods, and attention to lifestyle add so much to the success of healing. Then addressing the energetic aspect is like the “secret sauce” I’ve found in my practice that exponentially improves the speed of healing. 

You might be thinking to yourself, "this sounds wierd! Why would it be something that would help me?". Both biology and physics are types of sciences. In our western thinking we go to biology in medicine. We think about what pills we can take to change our biochemistry right?

But our bodies are electric also. For example, we use EKG to measure the electric activity of the heart, the EEG to measure the electric activity of the brain. Your cells communicate by exchanging Na+, K+, Cl- creating an electric gradient. Pranic healing and energetic healing falls into the physics aspect of science and healing and may be the missing aspect to getting your body back to where it needs to be. One patient with anxiety felt an incredible shift and didn't feel anxiety after the first session for a whole couple weeks. Another patient with chronic debilitating migraines that occured 4-8 times a month has been migraine free for over half a year now with a few sessions. 

Feel free to contact me to see if this would be something beneficial for your case, or if I have any other thoughts for your situation. Wishing you a healthy and abundant new year!

Hack Your Circadian Rhythm

Get the Right Kind of Light 

I don’t really like the winter time change when it gets so dark so fast in the afternoon. I’m sure many of you feel the effects of this like feeling more tired, increased tendency to depression, feeling more sluggish or craving more junk foods. Good news there may be some tools you can use to “hack” the time change problems. Photo credit Mark Morgan

One of the ways to “hack” the winter blues is with light. Our brains more specifically the pineal gland have sensors to light which affect melatonin secretion and other hormones. Light is not all the same. When light hits water in a certain way, the water creates a prism, which separates the wavelengths of light creating a rainbow. Different colors of light have different effects on our bodies.

For example blue light is stimulating, can give more energy, helps with a positive mood, suppresses melatonin production. Sounds great right? But if you use a lot of blue light at night, it’s not healthy because melatonin production is reduced. This may cause you to not sleep as deeply or restfully at night. Melatonin is also linked to cancer prevention, so low levels of melatonin may be associated with an increased risk of cancer. This is one of the reasons why there is research showing higher level of cancer in people who work night shift.

When to use blue light? There is more blue spectrum light from the sun in the morning compared to the afternoon. This is nature’s way to protect your circadian rhythm. Exposure to sun in the morning is the best way to get blue light. Get more natural sunlight during the day to prevent the winter blues and stay energized.

At night, you want to reduce blue light. There is a lot of blue spectrum light emitted from cell phones screens, TVs, certain LED lights, and fluorescent lights. Blue light is bad at night because it kills melatonin production and throws off other hormone balance. Red color is the opposite of blue. If you put a red filter on your electronic devices, it reduces some of the damage. There is a free software called:

f.lux

https://justgetflux.com/

You can install this on your computer, put down what time you’d like to go to bed and it will automatically adjust your screen color.

If you have an iPhone you can go to settings: display and brightness: night shift. Put down when you’d like your screen display to be warmer (more red colors) at night. Of course it is always best to stay away from electronic screens if you can 30-60 minutes before bed. You can create a low light setting with more warm colors (red spectrum) before bed such as with candles, or Himalayan salt lamps.

Being smart with your “lights” is one way to help with winter blues, body clock, and hormone balance. If you need more help beyond this, please feel free to reach out to me and we can go over a personalized assessment of your situation and give you specific therapies to help you overcome your health concerns. I’m so happy to get to share with you. Thank you for honoring yourself and investing in your health and future.